Successfully have tested out a very simple cheap modification live. If nobody else has done anything like it yet, you saw it here first.
Plastic pipe-hanging strap fits within the outer case’s screw holes quite nicely on the left side, and a very discontinued half-glove thing from a local thrift shop was secured via more plastic strap on the right side.
The screws do loosen with time but haven’t fallen out with moderate use/flailing, not sure if washers and longer screws would help. Any ideas to improve the security & looks are appreciated.